You Said But... I Said But.....






A dinning table of love
I know I am in full-fledged luck
I looked up
in your baby blue eyes I see heroic guts
head over heel someone who's clumsy and nut
You said but
She's as sweet as a honey bun
Each bite gives me love more than a bunch
I said but
One day I'll be as old as a shrunken peanut
Each day give you eye pleasure close to none
You said but
I love my silly Mrs. Nut
Till the earth turns into mud
Till the sky withered by overflowing snow punch
I would then piggyride my honey bun
Slowly yet steady walking through every single bump
Even when my sorry toes got numb

Web of Life








Blackboard style nine to five
Can't wait to say good-bye
Suffocate till I die

The so-called window at front side
Give me no air in fish-tank style
my brain cry
my thoughts sign
shuffle me no light in no-return pipe

My inspire
Mercilessly deny
And your eyes
Pierce with electrial wire
Ashes me with fierce fire

Please bury me alive
Though my body dies
My inspire could climb
Out of the deep pile
Into the invisible sky
Or go along
With roaring tide
As nature would guide
I could
At last free to roam wide
In the four-dimension time
Leisurely weave a web that has life

White Smoke









You once gave me hell
Now you arn't even pal

Thank you for your "choice"
Now I have a better choice

Life is wasteful with you
Life is wonderful without you

I see
Your body is out
in the middle of a cult
waving at me shout
come back baby come

Choice O Choice
It's now my choice
I "mood li choi" (ignore)

It's you
who let me go
It's you
who broke my soul
I beg
once with no soul
You're so cold
Only the words "No"
destroy my whole
So
I erased my old soul
I dressed in new sew
in this new ho ho ho
came down to So Ho
See you burn in hole
White smoke cover you whole
I approach no
I rescue no
for my old soul
gone down with you in that hole

New York Chinatown

New York Chinatown
a place where I have tried to forget
a place where I have forgotten so much
a place where I have so much yet to forget

New York Chinatown
a place where I have so many unspoken ties with
a place where I have broken so many ties
a place where I have so many ties yet to break

New York Chinatown
a place where my heart had once been captured
a place where my heart had once been broken
a place where my heart had once again been captured
a place where my heart had once again been broken

New York Chinatown
a place where I felt complete
a place where I felt loneliness
a place where I felt understanding
a place where I felt confusions

New York Chinatown
a place where I used to long to go
a place where I now avoid to go
a place where I used to have a purpose to go
a place where I now see no purpose to go

Will I ever been back to New York Chinatown?
Anwers lie beneath my soul
Wheather one day I wil go
Or never will I go
New York Chinatown
a place where I always know
and will never say no
to a place where my soul
could be whole

年小的倔強 (by Fefe)

花心簡學 (by Fefe)

Lyrics as Beautiful as Poems -
林志美 Timeless Song Picks (by Fefe)






1. 雨夜鋼琴(Blue Mix)

作詞：林振強　作曲：宇崎竜童　編曲：鮑比達

鋼琴呆坐玻璃窗後看兩絲　微涼是這寂寥午夜時
我彈琴望雨　不經意地再奏出一首老調子

鋼琴仍在欣賞窗外細雨絲　從來未理鍵盤有淚兒
鋼琴似不知當天你　像我那般喜歡這調子

微雨裡　琴聲中　憑淚珠打拍子
人已去　樓空空　流淚已沒有意思
激憤敲琴　彷似質問　問情緣為何盡變做遺憾
激憤敲琴　邊愛邊恨　恨情人仍留在心傷我心

鋼琴仍在欣賞窗外細雨絲　從來未理鍵盤有淚兒
鋼琴似不知當天你　像我那般喜歡這調子

你和誰在今宵倚著看雨絲　和誰互訴熱情說話兒
我仍然在奏　即使你是聽不到此首老調子

微雨裡　琴聲中　憑淚珠打拍子
人已去　樓空空　流淚已沒有意思
激憤敲琴　彷似質問　問情緣為何盡變做遺憾
激憤敲琴　邊愛邊恨　恨情人仍留在心傷我心

激憤敲琴　彷似質問　問情緣為何盡變做遺憾
激憤敲琴　邊愛邊恨　恨情人仍留在心傷我心

2. 偶遇(Seaside Mix)

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：李雅桑　編曲：鮑比達

風　帶著微笑輕吹
天空裡雲偶遇　難忘是當天你
那默然的相醉

心　印下微笑的影
天天去回味　迷人是一剎那
再回頭已是沒法追

看著看著你來來去去
彷似彷似彩雲散聚
哪日才可　哪日才許
再共你相遇

要是以後有緣能見你
今天一切都成往事
會是如歌　會是如詩
怕沒法遇

3. 初戀(Mad Mix)

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：村下孝藏　編曲：郭小霖

愛戀沒經驗　今天初發現
遙遙共他見一面　那份快樂太新鮮
我一夜失眠　影子心裡現
問為何共他見一面　美麗印象似初戀

默默望著是　默默望著那目光似電
那剎那接觸　已令我倒顛
分分鐘都盼　望跟他見面

默默地守侯亦從來沒怨
分分鐘都渴望　與他相見
在路上碰著亦樂上幾天
輕快的感覺飄上面
可愛的一個初戀

4. 新宿物語

作詞：林振強　作曲：桐ケ谷仁　編曲：鮑比達特別　跨刀：郭小霖

別又再情深凝視　教我心亂了拍子
話別你　殊不容易　我已暗中哭萬次
日後你如果懷念　這遠方異國女子
望望這藍色信紙　看看信中此十數字：
"I don't know when I smile again, or find another love so true,
I only know l won't forget the night, and you in Shijuku."

日後你如不懷念　這遠方異國女子
便讓那藍色信紙　跌進雨中洗掉往事
(獨白)：究竟係邊個安排，兩個唔同背景、唔同國籍陌生人相遇、相愛、然後分手?
如果呢D係浪漫，點解要結束? 如果呢D係痛苦，點解又要開始？

回首見你未停高呼　列車偏偏繼續駛去　我在車中孤單回顧
The night and you in Shinjuku,When time stood still for me and you…

5. 感情的段落

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：周啟生　編曲：周啟生

人聲似浪帶浪向我淹來　而你獨冷漠冷得深似海
微風貼著你額角兩邊過　何以于思滿腮
曾經我日夕盼你歸來　而你獨冷傲看那滄海
如若你願意獵取我的愛　何須將心掩蓋

曾經我日夕盼你歸來　而你獨冷傲看那滄海
如若你願意獵取我的愛　何須等三數蛓
陽光暗淡處易佈上菁苔　蘆葦盛兩岸也須多灌溉
誰謂歲月鍛鍊了真的愛　時候當不可再

莫忘莫忘是期待痛楚　數著日子過
讓我在我夢裡鎖起了　歲月深閨飄過

陽光暗淡處易佈上菁苔　蘆葦盛兩岸也須多灌溉
誰謂歲月鍛鍊了真的愛　人事總會變改
曾經我在那夜半里醒來　重看往日信箋的記載
無須太著意地看每一句　人事都不可再

6. 甚麼是緣份

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：顧家輝　編曲：顧家輝

緣份不可轉贈
緣份到一起結伴行
緣份喜作弄人
如緣盡縱不願都要分

緣份好似機會
原沒法刻意地尋
凡事不可解釋
就稱做緣份

甚麼是愛? 甚麼叫恨?
每一種感觸　在心內印
合則是愛　離則有恨
我偏偏不曉得　甚麼是緣份?

7. 情人路

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：周啟生　編曲：周啟生

相識相分　因擾多少有情人
情路充滿愛和恨
柔情相獻　曾經心印心
回頭視作陌路人

得不到　不要緊　世間儘多有情人
毋用將愛變成恨
無緣相愛　無謂細問原因
毋用癡心補裂痕
請放心　更休傷心　在愛的路途繼續行.
請愛惜　完美的一顆愛心　等待情人將真心印

相識相分　愛的足跡繼續尋
離合終要說緣份
情人走過　留下了怨和恩
留下歡欣與淚痕

8. 你的眼神

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：蘇來　編曲：周啟生

淡淡然掠過　神祕又美麗
它恍似驟來的雨
我也難自禁抬頭看你
你偏將心事瞞住

就算默然不語　我都深深記住
因你的眼神　使我心裡著迷　啊
已將我心輕輕的留住

Such Love Such Memory Exists No More - How Regretful it is!
這樣情景難再見
非常遺憾

We used to be very close
We used to talk over phone
We used to make each other whole

You used to make me laugh so hard
You used to care about me what's up
You used to tell me everything that was suck

I used to find out how life had been treating you
I used to shield dangers for you
I used to be very proud of you

Then things changed with only silent warnings
I didn't know those were warnings
Yet I didn't give up seeking you out
Yet I didn't give up asking your about
Yet I didn't give up showering you with love

Then one day I got the warnings
I know those were no more warnings
Yet I haven't given up caring your life
Yet I haven't given up giving you hope
Yet I haven't given up forgiving you with love

Unfortunately
we are now in two separate place
we are now parted by unspoken pain
we are now driven by no action pale

What pushed us to this point
What I have done wrong

But don't you forget my love
Despite it all
we still have unbreakable tie
Not even blood can untie

So what we used to be will always be
Despite how much you want to untie
Not till the day we die

After All.....


I want to see what he's been up to during all these years
but that doesn't mean I really care about his well-beings

I want him to know I am living happily ever after without him
but that doesn't mean I really care to share my happiness with him

I want to ask him if he had ever loved me
but that doesn't mean I really care about that anymore

I want to know if he still keeps my stuff
but that doesn't mean I really need him to keep my stuff

I want to face him again and tell him my love for him was a mistake
but that doesn't mean I really need to hurt him like that to make myself feel better

I want to see him one last time
but that doesn't mean I really need to do that to close a chapter of my life

So what do I really want?
No the question should be
Is he really worthy for me to contemplate after all?
After all he had done to me
After all he had hurt me
After all he had used me
After all he had insulted me
After all he had belittled me
After all he had be so mean to me
After all he had be so cruel to me
After all he had treated me like dirt
After all he had left me with complete loneliness
After all he had thought of no one's but his own desires
After all he didn't even care enough to pull me away from sheer dangers
After all he just stood on a sidewalk and laughted at me as I was almost killed by roaring traffic
After all he took away all of my material belongings and left me with absolutely nothing
But most of all he took away my only pride and soul
I once walked with no pride
I once walked with no soul
I ended up destroying myself by allowing others to destroy me
I once was robbed with bare hands
I once was humiliated with cruel souls
I ended up becoming contented by refusing feeling pain from being robbed and humiliated
He once destroyed my identity
He once destroyed my self-respect
I ended up walking with a dead soul
Fortunately
I got my pride back
I got my soul back
I got my identity back
I got my self-respect back
So my question is
Do I still want to re-visit the "death valley" that once almost destroyed me?
Is it worthy for me to "re-kindle" those dark times just for the sake of "revenge"?
The answer is
Hell NO!
For he is so unworthy to be even wandering in the back of my mind after all!
Forgetting him after all is the best method of revenge
like he has never existed
after all!

My Few Turning Points in Life

There are four major turning points in my life.

The first one was when I turned 19.
The second one was when I turned 26.
The third one was when I turned 30.
The forth one was when I turned 35.

When I turned 19, I left my family, friends, and my homeland (Hong Kong) and flew thousand miles away by myself to the great America.

When I turned 26, I was separated and getting divorce from my ex-husband.

When I turned 30, I ended a three-year relationship with a boy/man in a very ugly term and started my soul-searching journey completely on my own. And I found the "way" to life and my view and perception of life was changed completely.

When I turned 35, I finally found true love and got married with the most wonderful man I have ever known.

Life is interesting because it is never a straight road. It is the different turns, both predictably and unpredictably, make life fascinating and never dull. I adore life, depsite how many bruises and bumps I got while I was making those turns in life. Everytime I was forced to make a turn, I learnt something new in life. I learnt that I could have taken a different route so I could avoid making turns. Life is never a straight road all the way. However, if I can learn from turns I made in life and ensure myself to make the same turn twice, I could be making my road of life a bit strighter than I would have otherwise.

Life is interesting and life is good.

Saying Goodbye 說再見確真不容易

Below is a recent electronic mail (e-mail) communication back and forth between myself and a colleague who recently submitted his resignation.  I particuarly want to post it here because every word written in these emails contains heavy heart.  It is not easy to say goodbye to anyone and is surely not easy to say goodbye to good people.  I understand his saddness for leaving his current position for another position.  I understand his background and how much passion he has and still will have with the program that he has been involving in and running for so many years.  Well, everyone will have to move on at some points in life.  It's inevitable.  I guess we'll have to accept this harsh reality.  I do wish him nothing but the best because he is a good person.

The emails below starts with the most recent response from either one of us.


Thank you, Victor!  We are all foot soldiers here.  But we are more
than willing to be high standard foot soldiers because we know who will
benefit if we win the war.  Thanks for your passion and commitments to
the program.  I know even though you will not be directly working for
the Program, you will still doing all the "behind-the-scene" works to
benefit this Program any way you could.  For that, we thank you again.

--
Felicia

_____________________________________________________________________________

Felicia,

I really appreciate your words below.  I think that you know how much
the program has meant to me over the years and a large part of those
feelings are due to working with you and our other colleagues.  Rita and
you have set the standard, I was just a foot soldier...I am sure that my
replacement will have the same zeal, if not more, that I have for the
program.

Felicia, congratulations again on your new marriage.  I wish you and
your new husband nothing but the best.

Take care,

Victor

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Victor,

I am not going to hide my emotions.  I feel sad learning that you are
leaving.  You have done tremendous work for the Pre-College Program for
such a long time.  You have demonstrated what the true meanings of
dedication and hard work are.  You have shown us through actions what a
true leader should be.  Your presence and sense of humor light up the
whole room every time and allow us to have so much fun while we are
working hard for the Program.  You will be greatly missed and we will
have to learn to adjust our lives with the Pre-College Program without
you.  However, I want to wholeheartedly congratulate you on your new
position.  I wish you nothing but the very best in your new venture.  I
also look forward to working with you in your new position.

A little bit sad but I am very happy for you!

--
Felicia

___________________________________________________________________________________

Mack, Victor wrote:
 

Dear All,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you of my resignation as the
Pre-College Coordinator for the Center for Mathematics, Science, and
Technology Education at UNC Charlotte.  I have accepted the Dean's offer to become the Director of Educational Outreach for the College of Education effective September 1.  My official last day as Pre-College Coordinator will be August 31.  For the past 10 years, the Center and the North Carolina Mathematics Science Education Network (NC-MSEN) have provided me countless opportunities for professional growth and service to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg community.  The professionals associated with each of these organizations I owe a debt of gratitude that can never be fully repaid.

It has been an honor and a privilege to serve with you all.  I look forward to working with you in my new capacity.

Sincerely,

Victor Mack

________________________________________________________________________________
 

My First Year College Life in Buffalo, NY





The first time I set foot on American soil
The first time I was home away from home
The first time I was completely on my own
The first time I was surrounded by people looked nothing like me
The first time I stepped on a foreign university campus
The first time I saw snow
The firt time I walked on snow up to my knee
The first time I hid behind a small brick gate so my tender face would not be slided in half by the blizzard
The first time I wish I knew how to drive
The first time I wish I had a car
The first time I felt so stand out in a classroom
The first time I wish I did not look so alien among others
The first time I wish I listened to my parents and study harder for my English communication skills back home
The first time I lived in library day in and day out
The first time I felt I could be starved to death if I did not cook for myself
The first time I learnt to do laundry in a public place
The first time I felt I was totally responsible to each action I took
The first time I missed my family and friends
The first time I cried because I was homesick
The first time I experienced the hardship due to lack of money
The first time I forced myself to bite my lips, stop crying, and move on
The first time I knew I was no longer a child
The first time I was out of the greenhouse and stepped into the real world
The first time I had to grow up
The first time I told myself to be strong
Both physically and mentally

Thoughts on Successful Marriage



Whether a marriage works or not is all depended on how the couple reacts and deals with certain events during the course of marriage. We have to understand each other's weaknesses and learn to forgive and forget. We have to find an amusing way to look at and deal with each other's weaknesses and faults sometimes too. Slow to angry and learn to apologize as quickly as possible are also great ways to start the lesson of "Marriage 101." Advanced course of marriage would ask us to learn to love unconditionally. It is no doubt easy to be said than done. But only if we can truly forgive and forget, as well as love each other unconditionally, our marriages could have a chance to have success. "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)