After All.....


I want to see what he's been up to during all these years
but that doesn't mean I really care about his well-beings

I want him to know I am living happily ever after without him
but that doesn't mean I really care to share my happiness with him

I want to ask him if he had ever loved me
but that doesn't mean I really care about that anymore

I want to know if he still keeps my stuff
but that doesn't mean I really need him to keep my stuff

I want to face him again and tell him my love for him was a mistake
but that doesn't mean I really need to hurt him like that to make myself feel better

I want to see him one last time
but that doesn't mean I really need to do that to close a chapter of my life

So what do I really want?
No the question should be
Is he really worthy for me to contemplate after all?
After all he had done to me
After all he had hurt me
After all he had used me
After all he had insulted me
After all he had belittled me
After all he had be so mean to me
After all he had be so cruel to me
After all he had treated me like dirt
After all he had left me with complete loneliness
After all he had thought of no one's but his own desires
After all he didn't even care enough to pull me away from sheer dangers
After all he just stood on a sidewalk and laughted at me as I was almost killed by roaring traffic
After all he took away all of my material belongings and left me with absolutely nothing
But most of all he took away my only pride and soul
I once walked with no pride
I once walked with no soul
I ended up destroying myself by allowing others to destroy me
I once was robbed with bare hands
I once was humiliated with cruel souls
I ended up becoming contented by refusing feeling pain from being robbed and humiliated
He once destroyed my identity
He once destroyed my self-respect
I ended up walking with a dead soul
Fortunately
I got my pride back
I got my soul back
I got my identity back
I got my self-respect back
So my question is
Do I still want to re-visit the "death valley" that once almost destroyed me?
Is it worthy for me to "re-kindle" those dark times just for the sake of "revenge"?
The answer is
Hell NO!
For he is so unworthy to be even wandering in the back of my mind after all!
Forgetting him after all is the best method of revenge
like he has never existed
after all!